I caught myself the other day saying something about teenagers. “Yeah, but you never know. Teenagers might break in and steal stuff.” How old am I? 80? “These dang blasted kids now-a-days.”
Wasn’t I just a teenager the other day? It feels like it. But no. I guess that was about 25 years ago now. But although time separates me farther and farther from those years, there is a tension that grows closer and closer. What is that? What was it between me at 16 and my parents? What is that thing that will happen between Katie and I and our kids? What is this tension? What’s happening to us?
Parents, you have entered a new stage of life. One not possible when you were young. You’ve become something else, something you were not expecting to be. You’ve become gate-keepers, bridge-makers, guardians. Between the youth and excitement of the young, stands you. They are eager and ready to rush into the future and create their new world. But they have not yet learned to properly love the old world (the very world they were born from). So, there you stand. Cautioning them to slow down and learn to love the old, before they destroy it for the new.
Here’s one significant reason for the tension and fighting between the young generations and the older generations: adults let our love for the old world turn into bitterness toward the young, since we lacked the patience to teach them how to love. Admittedly, they have no idea how complicated things are; that you can’t just fix problems by taxing the rich or ripping down confederate statues. But aren’t they right that spending ungodly amounts of money on a “high school plus certificate” (a college degree!) is a serious problem that needs to be solved? And aren’t they right that enshrining people who enslaved others is a very questionable practice? Now, should you just slash and burn to fix the problems? No. But don’t you remember when you had that young spirit? The spirit that thought, “If they just give me enough room, I can get something done.”
Once you are past your teenage years and a good part of your 20’s, the hardest and most important job of life begins: you have to teach others how to navigate the complexities of life, you have to be patient with the rush of youth, you have to still care yourself about the world you live in, and you have to not let all of this press you into bitterness, but compel you to love.
Adults, know your role. You stand as the hope of the present. Behind you stands the past, that you are called upon to guard, and before you stands the future, where you need to guide the youth into.
Adults, without you, the present collapses. Don’t forget who you are.
Tom+